Sunday, October 10, 2004

Thusly, momentum was snuffed.

If I may begin with a digression, I'd like to mention that any use of the word "momentum" immediately makes me think of that episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where John Witherspoon is stuck in a tree with Will and keeps on saying "momenamum." That was gold.

Dear all,

I guess I'd like to apologise for the recent inactivity of the Team Willow blog. Although this admission of a problem should in no way be taken as an admission of culpability on my part, I can no longer keep from commenting. Clearly, what was exciting has become "exciting;" what was cool has become "cool;" what was current has become "not so current." Finger quotes abound, interest wanes, enthusiasm has petered out to the point that I am physically and mentally incapable of coming up with a clever and/or succinct conclusion to this paragraph. Alas...

The cause may be as simple as the fact that the rest of us 6015 Exploders have been having a heckuva time drumming up a suitable follow up to Greg "Boonie G" Boone's undeniably perplexing bit of soul-baring from the other day, or it might have something to do with the fact that Mark "Money" Black has yet to make an appearance and no one else wanted to jump queue, or it might have something to do with the fact that not much has been happening 'round these parts. Well, I'm here to unequivocally put that last possibility's cold, rotting corpse into a cold, shallow grave as A LOT HAS BEEN HAPPENING AROUND HERE.

To wit:

1) Elliot has taken to "showing the goods" at any opportunity. Sometimes "showing the goods" also involves "licking the goods." In my expert opinion, this behavior is clearly a reaction to his imminent neutering - his way, if you will, of screaming, "You dare rob me of these bountiful orbs of life?! Tremble at my fecundity!"[1]

2) Paul's family sent us an econo-sized Rice Krispies box overflowing with Hallowe'en candy.

3) Greg's band played in Cape breton, Mark's soon-to-be-ex-band played in the valley, and my band played in Toronto. Go bands.

4) Francesca has declared the Charlie Brown-Outkast video mash-up to be "the cutest ever." Let me tell you, that kind of talk doesn't come easy from "Tough As Nails" Tallone and when it does it usually involves non-tesicle-related-Elliot activity.

5) Two words: french toast.

That's just a glimpse into the neck-snappingly quick-paced world of 6015 Willow Street. There's so much more to be said about this rag-tag crew of salty dogs, but if all were to be revealed here there'd be no reason to get excited about the imminent return of THE 6015 EXPLOSION! Lock up your daughters! The Narcisisstic Little House Newsletter That Could™ is back for the attack like a beast from the east![2]

To those of you left breathless in suspense by my previous entry: it's short. Maybe a little too short.


[1] It should, of course, be noted that Michael "Damian" Catano imagines a world in which cats talk like an angry Walt Whitman.
[2] Something that merits TWO Dokken references has to be big friggin' news, right?